Dear Fibromyalgia

What I really want to say to you is F*%K OFF!!!!

I am so sick and tired of you.

I am sick of this invisible full body pain you cause me on a daily basis. I am sick of the extreme tiredness you cause me. I am sick of the nausea. I am sick of my body swelling and bloating for no reason. I am sick of the bad moods you put me in. I am sick of the thought that people think, I’m just a moody bitch sometimes but it’s actually because I am in so much pain and I want to scream. I am sick of waking up every morning in pain, since I was 13 years old. I am sick of  waiting rooms.I am sick of doctors blank faces. I am sick of hospitals. I am sick of doing tests all the time. I am sick of x-rays. I am sick of MRI’s. I am sick of pain killers that don’t work. I am sick of extremely sore injections that don’t work. I am sick of physiotherapy.I am sick of all therapies. I am sick of having a good day and then BOOM the next day I feel terrible. I am sick of constantly having to say to my loved ones I feel terrible. I am sick of being positive. I am sick of smiling. I am sick of crying to myself. I am sick of fighting you. I am sick of trying to figure you out. I am sick of explaining what fibromyalgia is. I am sick of pretending I’m Ok when I’m not. I am sick of people trying to understand what you are but they have no idea unless they have you. I am sick of people who say, you are not real. I am sick of American movies taking the piss out of you. Do they know how insulting that is for someone who really has Fibromyalgia? I am sick of my increased forgetfulness. I am sick of not having an answer. I am sick of feeling scared for the future. I am sick that there isn’t more awareness about you. I am sick that I speak to people, thinking they will know what fibro is because of the industry they are in and they have never heard of you. I am sick of ‘She doesn’t look or act like she’s sick or in pain’. 😦  I am sick of feeling like I’m suffocating. I am sick of feeling anxious.I am sick of hiding my emotions. I am sick of feeling sad. I am sick of feeling this body was not meant for me. I am sick of wishing.

Most of all, I’m sick at the thought of having you for the rest of my life.

xoxo

 

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