What I really want to say to you is F*%K OFF!!!!

I am so sick and tired of you.

I am sick of this invisible full body pain you cause me on a daily basis. I am sick of the extreme tiredness you cause me. I am sick of the nausea. I am sick of my body swelling and bloating for no reason. I am sick of the bad moods you put me in. I am sick of the thought that people think, I’m just a moody bitch sometimes but it’s actually because I am in so much pain and I want to scream. I am sick of waking up every morning in pain, since I was 13 years old. I am sick of  waiting rooms.I am sick of doctors blank faces. I am sick of hospitals. I am sick of doing tests all the time. I am sick of x-rays. I am sick of MRI’s. I am sick of pain killers that don’t work. I am sick of extremely sore injections that don’t work. I am sick of physiotherapy.I am sick of all therapies. I am sick of having a good day and then BOOM the next day I feel terrible. I am sick of constantly having to say to my loved ones I feel terrible. I am sick of being positive. I am sick of smiling. I am sick of crying to myself. I am sick of fighting you. I am sick of trying to figure you out. I am sick of explaining what fibromyalgia is. I am sick of pretending I’m Ok when I’m not. I am sick of people trying to understand what you are but they have no idea unless they have you. I am sick of people who say, you are not real. I am sick of American movies taking the piss out of you. Do they know how insulting that is for someone who really has Fibromyalgia? I am sick of my increased forgetfulness. I am sick of not having an answer. I am sick of feeling scared for the future. I am sick that there isn’t more awareness about you. I am sick that I speak to people, thinking they will know what fibro is because of the industry they are in and they have never heard of you. I am sick of ‘She doesn’t look or act like she’s sick or in pain’. 😦  I am sick of feeling like I’m suffocating. I am sick of feeling anxious.I am sick of hiding my emotions. I am sick of feeling sad. I am sick of feeling this body was not meant for me. I am sick of wishing.

Most of all, I’m sick at the thought of having you for the rest of my life.

xoxo

Categories: Uncategorized

Tagged as: Blog depressed diet dublin exercise fatigue fibro Fibromyalgia Girl Talk headspace healing marie junior Marie-Ann Hughes meditation mental health muscle never give up openletter Pain physiotherapy sore tired vegan

Marie-Ann

I started this blog just to write. Write what I wanted to say and keep an account so I can go back and read it when I'm grey and old. :-)
Grew up in the music industry and lived it for years. Music will always be in my life.
Lover of food, fashion and music. Cruelty Free. Vegetarian. Vegan. Plant based.
Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, IBS
It is my Diary. Real life and day to day events. x

Also check out my YouTube Channel- Marie-Ann Hughes